What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

When did bestiality first occur to you and how did it happen the first time? Was it a deliberate decision or it just happened and you allowed it?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Have you ever witnessed political correctness harm someone?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What are some possible reasons for an unfaithful spouse to not confess their affair to their partner and instead end it without telling them?

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Does the West have a defense against China's PL17 air-air missile?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?